Did you ever have something bother you where you know how it makes you feel…but it’s impossible to articulate it in a way that anyone, and I mean ANYone will understand?

It happens to me. 

I hold conversations with myself about it. Sometimes it feels like an angel is on one shoulder and a devil on the other. They debate my right to feel as I do. Other times, it’s the left and right sides of my brain, warring between reason and emotion. 

If I try to explain…to a friend, my spouse…I get narrowed eyes, tilted heads, or worst yet “That’s ridiculous!” in response. 

None of that makes me feel any better. 

Most of the time, I burrow into the safe cocoon of my head. Maybe there’s a debate going on, but nobody will call me ridiculous. 

There are a lot of articles out there about “self talk” and how we talk ourselves into feeling bad about something – appearance, ability, whatever. This isn’t that. 

There are opportunities almost everyday in everyone’s life to react and process situations, scenarios, and occurrences. In many cases, our outward reactions may not mirror our inner turmoils. Something bothers us, but no one will understand why if we try to explain. That’s what I mean. 

Time is often the great equalizer. Something that bothers me now may seem trivial in 6 months. Sometimes scenarios will shift, and the bothersome thing will go away. 

When in the midst of it, however, the internalized debate…the weight of it…is a constant and sometimes distracting presence. 

I’ve learned that some things are better left unsaid…but it’s hard to ignore something when it’s in my head.