Life through Big Brown Eyes

I am blessed with several great nieces and a great nephew.  They are all 5 years old or younger. Besides being criminally cute, they are all at the start of what I pray will be a long and happy life for each of them.  The fact that they all are at the start of those journeys fascinates me.  Perhaps because I’m fairly confident that I am more than halfway through my own.

As I look in the rear view mirror of my own existence over the last half century, I can see the paths I chose, the results of decisions made.  I can remember the things that happened in school or in my family that shaped my personality…that fed my insecurities.  I recall those times my heart was roadkill, and the hearts I drove over myself.  It is interesting to dissect the “what if’s” although it is a futile exercise when all is said and done.  

And so during recent birth celebrations, and birthday celebrations as these beautiful children giggle ot gurgle (as the case may be) I can’t help wondering what paths they’ll choose….what decisions they’ll make…what insecurities they’ll have, and whose heart they’ll break.  

Someone said recently that the professions today’s toddlers will have when they grow up may not have been invented yet.  Back to the Future Part II taught us that 30 years may not be that long for technological advancement.  But I know what was available when I was 5….and Lordy has the world changed.  What will it look like when these cherubs are 50?  It thrills me and frightens me all at the same time.

They are at the start of their journey…this road of life.  

I hope they have one hell of an adventure.

As promised, I began to go through notebooks and journals I’ve kept since I was 14. 

Fascinating how the smallest problems were SO monumental: my dad yelled at me, girls in school were mean to me, the boy I was so desperately “in love” with didn’t love me back. 

Yet, when you’re 14, what do you expect?   I will say that I wrote a lot of poetry. I thought some of it was fairly interesting coming from the mind of a teenager.  To sit here reading it, I was taken back to the days lying across my bed, with notebook and pen, scribbling furiously. It’s like time travel, really. Like I’m back in 1982. 

Come take a trip with me down memory lane……

As far away as you can get, that’s as far away I’ll be,

If you never want to sit and talk – well that’s ok with me,

But for every time I cry and all the moments I sigh,

Will be in your conscience and in your heart,                                          But will never penetrate your mind. 

You stepped on me and others too, To make your way across,

Like smooth flat stones in a streams cool bed,

It’s not mine, but your loss. 

Colorful World

When I color the world blue, All joy is chased from my life,

The tears are all pouring through, I fear to never see light. 

It goes from blue to dark gray, Though I feel a little glad,

I think I see a faint ray, Now I know I’m not so sad. 

When I color the world pink, All happiness has returned. 

I’ve finally found the link, That tells me what I’ve learned. 

So I say to you, good friends -Yes, you, who color the earth,

On you the color depends, How much is happiness worth?
If you enjoyed those, I have more. Feel free to comment. 

Happy Friday!!