Life through Big Brown Eyes

“Some people do spend their whole lives together…”   Notting Hill 1999

Today marks what would have been my parents’ wedding anniversary. 

Patsy Vincent and Chris Kokonas met in 1949 when they both worked for the Ideal Toy Company in NY. 

She was 19, he was 23. She was from a strict Irish Catholic family of 6 kids. He was an only child who had been loosely raised Anglican by his British mother and Greek father. He was a Navy veteran of WWII. 

There was a bit of a culture clash with their respective parents. 

In spite of that, they successfully dated, courted, and got engaged. 

Then, he went to serve on the Oriskany in the Korean War. While he was away, they corresponded via letters that she kept wrapped in a ribbon until her death. 

They married during a torrential downpour on April 27, 1952. 

Upon his return, he became an x-ray technician, required to hold babies when they needed X-rays. The subsequent exposure destroyed his chance of fathering a baby of his own. 

They tried for several years. In late 1960, they began the arduous process to adopt.

Back in the 60’s, unlike today…it was important to align religion and national heritage between babies and their adoptive parents…Patsy had to stay home from work for a year to make sure she liked it. (Thank goodness times have changed.)

Eventually, they adopted two girls and went on to raise their family. Theirs was not a perfect marriage. Financial troubles plagued them for much of their lives. 

They weren’t perfect parents  but they did well by their daughters to the best of their collective ability…their children were well fed, well educated, and well loved.

Health and heart issues plagued Chris, so Patsy wanted to have a big surprise party for their 40th wedding anniversary. She was convinced he wouldn’t make to the 50th.  

And yet, he did. 

And to their 60th as well.

Chris’s health continued to decline, but he and Patsy reveled in visits from their grandchildren, and a great-grandaughter as well.  They celebrated one last Christmas.

He passed away 3 weeks later…3 months before their 61st wedding anniversary. 

It had been a difficult final few years for Patsy. Upon his passing, people said – “How sad…but now you can enjoy life!”

But he WAS her life. 

Patsy began to decline within the first year of Chris’s passing. Mobility and cognitive issues increased. She needed daily care. 

During the Autumn of 2015, she was asked how she’d be spending her holidays.  

“Oh, I won’t be around for the holidays,” she responded matter-of-factly. 

Two weeks before she died, she said she could see Chris and hear him singing to her. 

She had a heart attack and passed three weeks after her October birthday. 

At the time of their deaths, they were each 85 years old.   Their ashes are interred together.

Through ups and downs, 

successes and failures, 

triumphs and tragedies, 

they showed what it means, and what it takes, to truly share your life with someone. 

Happy Anniversary Momma and Daddy!